Avatar Movie Review by an Overprotective Parent, ChildGrower A. Woz.

Our children may have just graduated from  sheltered status.

Last night we took our three children (ages 6, 10 and 11) to see the blockbuster movie Avatar. We intended to see the movie in 3D and on the Imax screen where it is larger and louder than life and and worried some about the kids getting motion sickness and spending more than sixty dollars on tickets. Another twenty dollars later for popcorn and giant corn syrup filled drinks added to some concern about disturbing other viewers while leaving multiple time to relieve little bladders.

Primarily though, we were worried about content.

Friends had warned us of the military might used to secure resources without respect for life or land.  We assumed this would lead to a good discussion of history repeating itself and felt our kids could benefit from that awareness.

Friends had warned us about some sexual content but we found the one scene about the lifelong unification of two consenting adults to be artful and honest.

The attire of the creatures, which in movies is something which seems to be more a part of sexual expression than a need to protect a body from the elements,  is more colorful than an issue of National Geographic- providing cultural perspective on how clothing is a necessity reflecting a clan’s geography and climate.

There was one scene where the good guys were released after a heroine exposed a little too much cleavage to gain access beyond security and we covered that topic in an after-movie discussion over pizza.

While standing in line there were a few families with children around age 10 and older and one father took a minute to comment that he was happy to see us there with our brood. He asked his daughter if she could handle the action in the show and she replied, “Yes!” and added an eye roll for good measure. We don’t usually take the word of other parents on movie appropriateness unless we know they have the same standards we have.

I am not new to being hesitant.  Ours haven’t seen much of the following shows.

• Transformers 2 was absolutely inappropriate even though we knew several young boys who had seen it at home on video. The language was foul, plenty of inappropriate references to private parts, and the movie was thirty minutes too long in shooting and repetitive bombing and explosions.
• Children with older siblings have been incrementally exposed to more and more violence, inappropriate language, nudity and not so subtle sexual overtones in movies like the latest Indiana Jones sequel. When you see the lubed up lips and legs of the lead female you might imagine you are in the pages of Penthouse.
• Taking mine to see Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeaquel, makes me groan because it is about boys chasing girls. We haven’t decided on that one yet.
• The Harry Potter series, filmed with such grey colors and dark buildings,  did not have enough fantasy to let my kids separate a movie character from a real creature.  At this age, movies full of common creatures and insects, like giant man-eating spiders and growling wolves invokes nightmares rather than leading to discussions of good vs. evil.
• Twilight, full of enough sexual tension to enthrall already angst ridden teens,  lends itself well to a discussion of life after death and does have a fair amount of special powers interest, but it is best left as a great read for daughters who are thinking about boy/girl situations.  Mine aren’t even interested in the opposite sex other than to fill a soccer team roster, so I see no reason to take them to see it or to encourage them to read it, until they ask.

Sigh.

Here I am standing in line with about 100 other people, one hour before the show, ticket stubs in hand so as not to be accused of sneaking in the line. Filing past the added security hired to keep the lines moving and the patrons in line, we remark to the kids that this movie is something they should remember as not just a movie, but as an event.  We know the animation, the colors, the story is worth seeing and hearing. And we prepare the kids for the story by sharing the reviews and planning to de-brief after the show.

My husband is the science fiction fan who loves action and mind-bending situation in books, movies and music.   I love science fiction because it allows me to explore current social issues in a fantastical manner making learning more of a discussion of opinion than a matter of right vs. wrong.

My husband really encouraged me to say yes to taking all the kids and I was reluctant knowing it had an abundance of war scenes. To me, fight scenes are fight scenes. War is violent.  I don’t find war scenes entertaining, but neither are they entirely truthful. And thank goodness. Defending people or property with physical force, right or wrong, is still a violent action. Killing someone in 3-D is likely as bad or worse than seeing it in cartoon format.  At 2 hours and 40 minutes, I worried the prolonged exposure to any of the elements – sexual innuendo, violence, foul language or war scenes – seemed like risky business.  And given the price we pay for theatre tix, we hoped we wouldn’t have to pull them out of it if it crossed one of these lines into unredeemability.

As parents we know our kids and we know we are the ultimate decision makers in what they see.  That is the beauty of parenting and of knowing our children. We also believe we can help them understand what they see and hear through discussion.  Left alone, without some guidance, I’m thinking most Disney movies would not even be appropriate given that most begin with the mother dying or some evil person who is going to control the world! Am I right?

We do use a couple of tools whenever our kids are using media (and that includes music videos, seeing billboards and posters, consuming television, radio or electronic games, viewing movies, plays or live bands, etc.) ProjectGirl.org is a wonderful organization that teaches teens and parents to critically view what they are seeing in the media and deconstruct it so that they can decipher the mixed messages of advertising and media content.

As parents we have cobbled together a similar strategy:

• We interject comments all through the movie about how make up was used to create an injured body part or how computer animation is used to morph two different animals into a fantasy creature.
• We prepared them by talking about the premise and they had already seen commercials and advertisements to the point where they knew quite a few details without the benefit of talking with a parent.
• We cover their eyes if it goes too far (if they haven’t already done that)
• We listen to them if they want to leave or are not enjoying the story.
• We turn it off or leave if the content is beyond redemption
• We discuss what they saw, heard and thought during and after the movie.
• We control the remote/choice at all times, sometimes we preview movies alone before we ok a family viewing.
• We admit to making mistakes in appropriateness sometimes and chalk it up to an opportunity for our kids to be part of the real world, not sheltered to the point where they can not branch out of our overprotective methods to learn a little something about how this kooky world works.
• We don’t just let them see whatever their friends are seeing. After they are 18, they can go and see whatever they want, hoping they don’t develop a curiosity for examining the horror genre. (SAW I, II, or III and the like, is not fit for human consumption besides we get enough of that on the evening news.)

Avatar was a terrific movie. My husband said he didn’t enjoy it as much as he thought but that wasn’t because it was a bad story. It was fantastic, especially in 3D.   For him, the enjoyment factor had been reduced because he put protecting his children before his desire to see the movie that has been earning billions at the box office.  With his kids he was half-entertained and half-scared out of his mind for his three youngsters’ mental safety and emotional development.

Sometimes responsible parenting does this to us.

#### by A. Woz. For Childgrower Blog.